Legends Launch Broadside on Bayside

Steve Brown

Round 4 saw a nice and early Monday evening kick off (more on that later) on a balmy late autumn evening and Doncaster United taking on Bayside. United’s starting XL was McCulloch, Machin, Attwood, Gough, Gulec, Coard, Boyte, Shaw, Kelly, Brown & Crompton with a goal laden bench of Ewinger, Caridi & Hassan.

The pre match talk delivered by Attwood was all around the need to be up and at ‘em right from the kick off and not to give Bayside any time to settle and this indeed was the case as, to a man, the United team harassed and harried their coastal opponents.

The frantic pressure paid off early with a fantastic team goal when Gough intercepted a Bayside pass on half way and played the ball through to Brown who laid it back to Kelly. He then whipped in a cross to the edge of the box which was flicked on by Boyte’s head to an onrushing Crompton who duly buried the ball in the back of the net to open the scoring.

Bayside refused to be daunted by this early setback and started to string together some passes and began pushing forward. Fortunately McCulloch was in top form in goal and when a Bayside attack resulted in a goal bound shot he was able to extend a leg and divert the ball for a corner. The corner was cleared safely and Coard, who had covered a tremendous amount of ground early in the game, made way for Caridi’s fresh (15 years younger) legs.  This move paid immediate dividends as Caridi strove forward on the right and on the bye line cut the ball back to Brown who, with the easiest of tasks to make it 2-0, nearly managed to stuff it up but in the end was able to watch the ball trickle over the line to double the lead.

United were now becoming rampant and totally controlling the game and it was only a matter of time before more goals were added and the third came when Caridi created some space on the right hand edge of the box and thumped an unstoppable shot high into the net.

Things were only getting more positive for United when the bench was further bolstered by Capodistrias who turned up early for the 8.15 match !! The domination by United was evident in that both full backs Gulec and Machin were able to venture into the forward half and it was inevitable that a fourth goal would come and it was scored by Boyte who latched on to a poor clearance on the edge of box to steer the ball home to make it 4-0 at half time.

So, the half time talk was all positive,  about keeping the focus for the second half and ignoring the cruel sledges from the City players when it was explained to them what a goal was.

The teams returned to the field for the second half with Hassan and Elwinger coming on but Capodistrias was kept in the naughty corner for a little while longer. Play resumed with United continuing to push for more goals however Bayside seemed determined to put up a fight and some positional changes saw them create some forward momentum and McCulloch had to be on his toes to pluck a high shot out of the air.  Another of their attacks was snuffed out by Attwood who cleared the ball out to the right to a dogged Machin who was determined to keep the ball in play. He sprinted to the touch line just keeping the ball in play and his subsequent clearance up the line found Crompton who won a two on one contest setting up Hassan who rounded the keeper, a defender and a few spectators before slotting the ball home for the fifth.

This seemed to shatter Bayside whose shape seemed to disintegrate and this only created more opportunities for United to add to their tally. It seemed that a sixth goal had been scored when Brown forced the keeper into a rushed clearance straight to Boyte who tucked the ball away only for the referee to rule it out (the reason being too convoluted for a match report but happy to discuss over a beer or two).

However it was inevitable that more goals would come and perhaps it was more of a surprise where it came from – some neat interplay around the box saw the ball fall to Shaw on the edge of the 18 yard area and his well placed shot was too good for the keeper to make it 6-0.

By now it was all United and they were ripping through the (non-existent) Bayside defence. Hassan should have added to the score when set free by Brown only for the keeper to thwart him as he rushed in on goal and another forward break by him was ruled off-side. However, third time lucky saw him latch on to another through ball and smash it past the keeper for 7-0.

The action still wasn’t done and when Boyte impeded a Baysider in the middle of the United half Caridi picked up the ball and then made a 70 metre run right through the heart of the Bayside defence, rounded the keeper and slotted the ball home to make the final score 8-0.

So, United finally get their first win of the season and boost their goal difference considerably to open up a bit of a gap at the bottom of the table.

MMM Memorable Moment – Peter Capodistrias rocking up just before half time saying that he got here early for the 8.15 game so he could have an extended warm up.
MMM Muppet Moment –  For the 2nd week in a row, Sven, the referee made some astounding decisions especially in disallowing Rod Boyte’s goal by stating that the ball had not left the box from a goal kick despite several players having passed the ball before it returned to the keeper.
BMW BoP Glenn Shaw – A stalwart in the heart of the midfield and then popping up to score a fabulous goal all whilst being in shock (ie still pissed) after Bolton’s amazing escape from relegation less than 24 hours earlier.

Paul Caridi clearly had a major influence on the game however he became ineligible to win the award when he commented that Brown’s goal was the worst he had ever seen (unfortunately there may be video evidence to back that claim). He then continued to diminish his chances further by saying it was an own goal.

And the video just to prove … this really happened – apart from Glenn’s goal but as a 60 year old he shouldn’t be scoring goals like that anyway!!