Tough Morning at the Office
Reporter – Graham Attwood
A Sunday morning game for the United Team obviously doesn’t suit the bio-rhythms of the reds. Maybe it was the remnants of the night before beverages or maybe just the concept of putting one foot in front of the other towards the opposition goal that injects a sense of “shock and awe”. Anyway – the weather held up OK and it was better than laying in bed or something?! So a social gathering was held before KO at the centre circle with both teams ensuring the spirit of the game remained victorious regardless of the final result. Also a pitch inspection identified a massive trench about 47 cm deep adjacent to the “drop-in” cricket pitch across the centre of the field. After full consultation and distribution of crampons, climbing axes and shovels, the game started. The starting line-up needed to call up a couple of ALL – stars from the City squad due to injuries and the reds took to the field with McCulloch, Gough, Rathner, Coard, Stock, Harrison, M. Jenkins, Boyte, Gulec, Brown and Sciola (Sims, Marcius and Whan on the bench) with Wimp/Coach/“poor little toe” Attwood calling the shots from the touchline. (Note from Reporter: during the post-match analysis, it was decided to limit the narrative to the really good parts of the game from Utd perspective – hence the brevity of the report!!!!) Ashburton attacked form the first minute and pushed hard into the Utd half. In the first 5 minutes, the Utd defence looked out of shape and our Veteran keeper made 2 vital saves to stop a full-on onslaught. But yet another long ball from the Ashes penetrated the defence and led to a simple shot and the first (of many) goals. 1-0 Utd looked to settle down a little and play the ball to feet. A neat LHS attack through Harrison and Jenkins released the latter into some space and a decent shot from Jenkins went wide. Was this the turnaround? Alas not! In the blink of an eye, the Utd defence and structure disintegrated and despite several offside appeals, the Yellows continued their out and out attack slicing through the defence as if they were not there. It was 2-0, 3-0, 4-0 within 20 minutes and the heads started to go down. Did some of the players wish they were still at church praying rather than “enjoying” their Sunday workout? Answer –Yes But then at the 40 minute mark Utd had one of their more attractive spells with a snap shot from Mario that cause their keeper to put gloves on the ball. Then Rod also had a shot that journeyed wide. Things were looking up – but then more average defending let in Ashburton who banged in 2 shots in quick succession which big John managed to block, the second shot forcing a great tip-over. Half time – 4-0 down but it could have been a lot more if it wasn’t for JMc keeping the score within grasp of a possible come-back. The half time motivational talk was truly inspirational! The Coach gently pointing out the slight tweaks necessary to instil a sense of “we can do this” Key points:- “If you’re too tired to run back and defend – I’ll sub you”
- “Get back to basics you prima-donnas”
- “Quit the fancy shit – you’re not good enough”
- “Go up the guts with the big donkey hoof”